I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
