how can u be prego again
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
