Moan for me like Helen Keller
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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