you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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