the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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