Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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