I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
