I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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