What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it's like iHOP with fire
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
