I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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