A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize