How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
