Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
