update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
honey bunches of taint.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.