She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
