im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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