Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
love makes seman taste better
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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