I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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