Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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