I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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