we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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