i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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