whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
