We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
