At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
