Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
