Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
