you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
