How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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