I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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