its not stalking. its research.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
