I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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