she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
