the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Alive.
So much puke
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
