If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize