so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
