yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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