Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
