This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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