Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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