I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
