Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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