I'm going to jail i love you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
