I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
