Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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