i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
