This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
