He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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