Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize