So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
