problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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