my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
