I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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