So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
