sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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