Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
